At some point in history, it became desirable to be light skinned and have looser curls. Very simply put, this was because of our history as slaves. European features were sought after because ‘white was right’ while African features – a wider nose, bigger bum and fuller lips – were constantly deemed less attractive. The funny thing is, in today’s day and age, the media’s decided to lust after the latter two, glorifying them – on lighter skin – in a way we’ve never seen before.
What’s important to note is my lack of Eurocentric features never actually made me feel less capable or worthy of achieving my goals – just less capable of getting male attention. I realize today that whatever once made me feel insecure is no longer relevant to me or my daily life. If you wake up and something’s bringing you down, realize that you have the mental power to overcome it. And try to realize everyday, that you can achieve great things despite not living up to some irrelevant standard you feel is set out for you.
If you feel like you’re unhappy with what you look like, I’d say invest in learning about what would make you healthier. You’ll look and feel better by doing so. Learn what works well with you and makes you feel most confident. But always understand that your self-worth does not lie in your appearance. It took me a long time to really love my dark skin and kinky hair, as well as my waistline that fluctuates when I eat so much as a grape. But I’m finally here and I love myself deeply.
Bolu Noelle lives in United Kingdom and is an ambassador for Curls- AuNaturel.