One of my biggest struggles has always been with my weight. While I know I’m not overweight, I sometimes can’t help but feel like I could be skinnier. Most Asian girls are really petite, so being ten pounds above average has always made me feel exponentially larger. When I visit my relatives in China, my relatives would comment that I looked very “athletic”, which could be translated to, “larger than usual”. Although they meant no harm, their comments confirmed my insecurity and always stuck with me.
I’ve never felt that I had distinguishing features and always felt like I just blend into the environment. In high school, I even felt below average. I’ve always had a sarcastic sense of humor and realized that I dealt with my insecurities through self-deprecating jokes. I would constantly compare my body to that of a pre-pubescent boy – it was my way of lightheartedly showing that I’m aware of my shortcomings. It’s true, there’s always some truth in every joke, but I always thought that hey, by making light of my insecurities, at least if I can make someone laugh. By doing that, I was trying to say, ‘hey, you’re not alone [in your struggle]’.
Shirley was born, raised, and lives in Montreal. She graduated with a degree in Accounting at McGill University and currently works as an auditor. She runs her personal blog, saumignon.